Monday, December 31, 2012

The Great Libertarian Utopia!

No taxes! Free market...
...where unrestrained Capitalism rules! No Big Government 
Everything is private sector!



                                         
                               Check out these wonderful benefits!!!
  • Your house catches fire; F.D. shows up. You can't pay them...they let it burn down.
  • Someone robs you or assaults you or a family member; Your assault rifle jams!....Rent-a-cops show up. No money to pay them?...No investigation.
  • No Judiciary; Highest bidder wins the legal dispute.
  • No libraries; You buy or rent everything you read...even if you only need it for reference. No more free rides for the kiddies! Let them buy books or do without!
  • No Public Schools; Replaced by expensive private schools that teach with no oversight or accountability (They can teach your children that Zeus made the world or that American Slavery, the Jewish Holocaust or the forced displacement of Native Americans never happened). You can't pay? No problem. Your kids don't get an education.
  • No regulation of HMOs, no public Health Care assistance; HMOs can deny treatment or dump you when you get chronically ill. If you can't pay for insurance or treatment....you can just die!
  • No Unemployment Benefits; Lost your job and can't quickly get another? Tough cookies!...Go get a job in retail or fast food for a quarter of your former hourly wage and half the hours...no health care, no benefits. Can't pay for your home or vehicle with the lower earnings? Tough crap...lose them. Can't afford food?....Starve, loser!
  • No public assistance, food stamps, welfare; See above.
  • No public roads; Need to drive somewhere? You'll pay a toll to a private company to use the roads. Different companies own different roads (free market!) so you have to make sure you have access and $$$ before you travel.
  • No civil rights in the new all-private sector economy; Need to go to a hospital? Drive on a private road? Buy utilities? Eat dinner in a restaurant? Hire pay-for police or fire protection? Get your kids into a private school? If the owner doesn't like "your kind" you can be denied services. Don't like it? Too bad! Personal "freedom" and "property rights" are all that matter.
  • No armed services; Replaced by private armies and mercenaries that kill for the highest bidder. Better keep that assault rifle nearby! If another country nukes you....dig out the survival gear!
  • No space program; Private industry can't apply an effective profit motive to space travel or exploration...besides, science is bad, it makes you think too much!....Way too many intellectuals already!
  • No Social Security; Didn't make enough money to invest in retirement and still pay your living expenses? Stock market tanked and you lost all of your investments? Tough crap LOSER! Hahahahaha!
  • No weapons laws; Anything goes! Better get that machine gun, bazooka or rocket launcher while it's still on sale! They'll be available to anyone who wants one....no questions asked, no restrictions! It's legal open war in the streets folks! Got a neighbor that pisses you off? Just blow 'im away when he's not looking!
  • No Post Office; It was nice to have your mail delivered cheaply and efficiently wasn't it? What? You don't want to pay ten bucks to mail a letter? (shrug).
  • No anti-pollution laws; Return to the glorious days when turds and PCBs graced our rivers and lakes! Remember those breath-taking killing fogs of air pollution?
  • No more unions or worker's rights; What a waste they were! Back to child labor, sweat shops, sexual harassment, poverty wages and workplace hazards. Don't like the conditions?....Go work at another low paying sweat shop. Maybe it'll be better there (or not).
  • No more food safety laws; Industries get to regulate themselves (kinda like letting inmates run the prisons)! Would you like some shit with that Big Mac? Some salmonella with your sausage?
  • Private prisons; Increase the number of inmates, increase the profit! You didn't litter or jaywalk today, did you?
  • No Government or laws; It's anarchy! Yipeeeeee! Every man for himself!

    Yes! All of this and more can be yours in 
     the Great Libertarian Utopia!
  • Democracy doesn't work anyway!
  • Your vote doesn't count!
  • Politicians are all the same! They all work for the same master! Why not eliminate the middle men and allow the rich to lord over you directly!
  • Bring back feudalism, racism and theocracy!
  • Embrace the new dark ages where every man is free to exploit any other person without fear of Government intervention!
  • Stop the Government from robbing you of the hard-earned money you would have had if there were still a Government!
  • Ron Paul for King! (What? Elections? What for?)